I must declare at this point that I am going through this EFT journey alone (not in cyberspace alone, but in real life) because I am not ready to share what I am learning with my friends and family. Why? First, my family is not very "energy-oriented" if I can call it like that, not so open to the idea of energy blockages and such. In my mind, sharing my EFT learning would yield to a "you're learning WHAT?" and the ensuing jokes and laughing at my/EFT expense. I am not ready for that, not yet. But after tapping on my need for perfection in the last couple of days, it occurred to me that this "not being ready" also has to do with perfection. Because if EFT was a mainstream, totally proven technique (in other words, "perfect"), then I wouldn't have this uneasiness at sharing it with anybody in need. I think.
Second, as I shared previously, I don't feel I mastered EFT yet, not even close. I am wetting my feet in it, so to speak. So I cannot share my EFT until I am perfect doing it. Second "aha". Lots of things to think about.
Back to what happened. As I was listened to this dear person speak, I couldn't bring myself to offer him EFT. I was painfully aware of my limiting beliefs and my "being in the closet", but I just nodded empathetically and heard him out, as a friend. I need to work on that... Because I have much less of a problem offering EFT to strangers and/or casual acquaintances than to family and close friends.
Has anybody else had the same issue? What helped you overcome it?
Happy tapping!
I've had that issue, and when I can't bring myself to offer the tapping, I either tap on myself in a subtle way while listening to them; tap on them surrogately as they speak, usually by looking at each of the different points as they speak; or tap for them afterward, sending them light, peace, healing, or other positive qualities. Has anyone else tried these methods?
Hi, Ange, what a wonderful idea! I was so into "empathy mode" and into what this person was telling me, that I forgot I can surrogately tap on the issues. I wonder if anybody else has tried this, too :)
Hi Patricia - and Ange, hi :)
Yeah, perfection seems to be coming up a lot lately ... I like this, Patricia. You've articulated that whole thing - perfectly!
Thanks, Fiona, I appreciate it :)
I can totally relate to this. I was a software engineer for 10 years and when I first started following my heart and not my head I faced very similar feelings. My family thought I had "lost the plot" giving up a well paid job to do crystal therapy (which is what I started with). I've been doing EFT for nearly 4 years now & my family is more accepting of it. I often want to offer EFT and find I don't because I don't want to face resistance with it. When I think - EFT would work really well here with sceptical members of my family, I find I tap myself on their behalf or just to deal with my stuff. We can't make those we love do something to help themselves - they have to want and be ready for that help. Sometimes it's hard to take a step back & tapping on your stuff really helps!
Hi Devon! Thanks for the comments. I also find myself reluctant to offer EFT for fear of resistance / skepticism / ridicule. I guess I don't feel so sure about my own capabilities yet. But I am working on it...
I bought three books that I find really interesting: "Psycho-cybernetics", "The Magic of Belief", and "Managing Thought: How Do Your Thoughts Rule Your World?". Typical me, impatient Patricia, I started all three at once. Very interesting reads, all of them, and deal with how our thoughts rule our lives, hoe to change self-doubts, self-value, etc. It might be just what the dr. ordered :D
Don't discount the power of empathy. Just being there to listen is often what people want and need.
I've been doing EFT for myself and occasionally friends and family for about 4 years now. I get so puzzled when people aren't willing to try EFT. I feel I have to offer it, but often feel stomped on when I don't get a positive response. My kids both say no. No reason, just no. (They're 22 and 24 now.) I'm learning to let go of it and try to offer other modalities (massage, a hot bath?) And yes, surrogate tapping on occasion!
Hi amysyd! I understand to what you say about empathy, in theory. My problem with it is that I am way too empathic, to the point that I absorb the mood of the person that's with me and then it's hard to shake it off. I also have a need to fix my loved ones' problems, and I feel I am not doing enough by only listening... I know that's not true and sometimes all people need is a friendly ear, but I immediately go into fixing mode, lol. One more thing for tapping...
Even though i cannot fix all my loved ones' problems, I totally and completely accept myself...