I shared in the previous post my need for perfection, my inner perfectionist working extra hours :) This week I had an "aha" moment (is it coincidence that it came after I tapped for my need for perfection?). A person close to my heart shared with me some grief feelings she has had for a long, long time.
I must declare at this point that I am going through this EFT journey alone (not in cyberspace alone, but in real life) because I am not ready to share what I am learning with my friends and family. Why? First, my family is not very "energy-oriented" if I can call it like that, not so open to the idea of energy blockages and such. In my mind, sharing my EFT learning would yield to a "you're learning WHAT?" and the ensuing jokes and laughing at my/EFT expense. I am not ready for that, not yet. But after tapping on my need for perfection in the last couple of days, it occurred to me that this "not being ready" also has to do with perfection. Because if EFT was a mainstream, totally proven technique (in other words, "perfect"), then I wouldn't have this uneasiness at sharing it with anybody in need. I think.
Second, as I shared previously, I don't feel I mastered EFT yet, not even close. I am wetting my feet in it, so to speak. So I cannot share my EFT
until I am perfect doing it. Second "aha". Lots of things to think about.
Back to what happened. As I was listened to this dear person speak, I couldn't bring myself to offer him EFT. I was painfully aware of my limiting beliefs and my "being in the closet", but I just nodded empathetically and heard him out, as a friend. I need to work on that... Because I have much less of a problem offering EFT to strangers and/or casual acquaintances than to family and close friends.
Has anybody else had the same issue? What helped you overcome it?
Happy tapping!
I admit I am a bit of a perfectionist, and that I am very hard on myself: I hold very high expectations, and often fall short of them. I forget I am not supposed to be perfect, and I always compare myself with people in the "top ten" of anything that occupies my mind at the moment. Interestingly, it doesn't cross my mind to compare myself with the rest of the people, maybe I would find I am in a good position after all? My psychologist, who treated me for depression recently, used to say that I have issues with control, and with being perfect, what in itself it's a recipe for failure: I cannot be always in control, and I cannot be perfect or make perfect choices.
The first time she said that it took me for surprise: What, am I NOT supposed to be perfect or make perfect choices? For her it was so obvious; for me it was a revelation. It takers me ages to order a book from Amazon (it has to be the perfect choice: if I already spend money, it MUST be a good choice), or to buy shoes. Well, it takes me ages to buy anything actually; I am the opposite of a shopaholic I guess, since I don't buy on impulse, but only after several rounds of price-checking and reviews-reading. Often I make a pretty good choice, and the times I make a lousy one I keep reliving it in my mind, replaying it again and again, and beating myself up for being so careless and not thinking it through a little more. Which of course is a waste of energy and leaves me very upset and angry at myself.
I read many times that mistakes are just lessons in disguise, if only I could internalize it! I like especially the following phrase by Al Franken "Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."
Here goes my tapping:
First I assess that my need for perfection and making perfect choices is a 9 out of 10. Pretty high number :)
First round:
Even though I need to be perfect and make perfect choices, I totally and completely accept myself.
Reminder phrase: "need for perfection and perfect choices"
After the first round, I started yawning, which according to Gary Craig means that something is moving, I am releasing energy blockages.
Second round:
Even though I still need to be perfect and make perfect choices, I totally and completely accept myself.
Reminder phrase: "Remanining need for perfection and perfect choices"I am yawning a lot more, but I am not sure how to evaluate the number. But as I am thinking this, a little voice in my head says "just guess, it doesn't have to be the perfect number" I have to keep tapping, but I guess something is already changing.
Happy tapping!
