EFT mama

I admit I am a bit of a perfectionist, and that I am very hard on myself: I hold very high expectations, and often fall short of them. I forget I am not supposed to be perfect, and I always compare myself with people in the "top ten" of anything that occupies my mind at the moment. Interestingly, it doesn't cross my mind to compare myself with the rest of the people, maybe I would find I am in a good position after all? My psychologist, who treated me for depression recently, used to say that I have issues with control, and with being perfect, what in itself it's a recipe for failure: I cannot be always in control, and I cannot be perfect or make perfect choices.

The first time she said that it took me for surprise: What, am I NOT supposed to be perfect or make perfect choices? For her it was so obvious; for me it was a revelation. It takers me ages to order a book from Amazon (it has to be the perfect choice: if I already spend money, it MUST be a good choice), or to buy shoes. Well, it takes me ages to buy anything actually; I am the opposite of a shopaholic I guess, since I don't buy on impulse, but only after several rounds of price-checking and reviews-reading. Often I make a pretty good choice, and the times I make a lousy one I keep reliving it in my mind, replaying it again and again, and beating myself up for being so careless and not thinking it through a little more. Which of course is a waste of energy and leaves me very upset and angry at myself.

I read many times that mistakes are just lessons in disguise, if only I could internalize it! I like especially the following phrase by Al Franken "Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."

Here goes my tapping:
First I assess that my need for perfection and making perfect choices is a 9 out of 10. Pretty high number :)
First round:
Even though I need to be perfect and make perfect choices, I totally and completely accept myself.
Reminder phrase: "need for perfection and perfect choices"

After the first round, I started yawning, which according to Gary Craig means that something is moving, I am releasing energy blockages.
Second round:
Even though I still need to be perfect and make perfect choices, I totally and completely accept myself.
Reminder phrase: "Remanining need for perfection and perfect choices"
I am yawning a lot more, but I am not sure how to evaluate the number. But as I am thinking this, a little voice in my head says "just guess, it doesn't have to be the perfect number" I have to keep tapping, but I guess something is already changing.

Happy tapping!

2 comments

1. Fiona on December 12, 2009 at 3:50 PM

   What a great format, Pat - and beautifully written. I particularly like the couple of tapping rounds at the end...

    
2. Patricia on December 12, 2009 at 4:24 PM

   Thanks, Fiona! I appreciate your input, blogging AND EFT and new to me so this is a learning process....