My last "imperfect" choice (at least the one ocuppying my mind lately) has to do with my move to Israel. Which has to do with what's really important for me in life. At the moment of making the choice to leave the States it seemed the best option for us ( we are not US citizens), but as everything there are pros and cons, and uprooting a family was not easy. I know the choice was made together with my dear hubby, but I feel guilty and my mind plays incessantly the "what if" scenario (of course it plays only the scenario in which "I" made the wrong choice). What's done is done, and we have been here for two and a half years already, almost three. Why do I feel so guilty then? Am I going to live the rest of my life torturing myself with "what if", "I made the wrong choice", "what was I thinking", etc? My life has been a blessed one, I have an amazing hubby, two awesome kids, a family that loves me, we are healthy and we have no economic problems (we are currently licving on one income since I was laid off my job, but we are managing). Still, as my grandma said to me yesterday, we are not happy with what we have and we always want more. And she's right.
What do I want that I don't have? I want to have my own home (not renting, just to have my own), I want a job that I like, I want to have close friends near me (my closest friends are living in different countries). I want to feel that I belong somewhere, I want to feel I'm home (When I bring this up hubby says that if we are together, wherever we are we are home. That's very comforting ans sweet.)
And when I read/hear about disasters, divorce, cheating husbands, sickness, crime, etc, I feel guilty of not realizing how blessed I am every moment, because I have the most important things, I really have all in need.
Surfing the net as I always do, I "stumbled upon" a nice blog with 50 questions to ask ourselves . That gave me a lot of material for thought. I think I need to answer most of them to gain some perspective. And also, I need to remember to keep tapping.
